This book helps people accept their vaginas and sex drives as healthy and normal. Many people dealing with vulvodynia have some work to do in relation to their sexualities, and unconsciously believe in a lot of myths about sex, sexuality, and having a vagina.

Review by Sophia

This book debunks several myths about why so many people feel ashamed of their sex organs, how they work, their own sexual thoughts, and their trouble with wanting sex too much, not enough, etc. For example, Nagoski writes that ones sex organs might show “signs” of arousal, like wetness or erection, but that simply means the body is expecting a sexual situation, not that the mind is aroused. This is why there are situations where one seems physically aroused, but is really feeling neutral, disgusted, angry, and so on. Sexual interest is context dependent. Why didn’t we learn this in sex ed??

Nagoski notes how all sex organs are normal, just different versions of the same parts we all start out with as embryos. And unless we are feeling pain, our bodies are normal and our reactions are normal.

Nagoski brings up two types of desire; spontaneous desire, and responsive desire, but both are pretty contextual. Spontaneous desire is a desire that feels spontaneous, but is possible because of the context. Responsive desire is where one is in a calm mind and can easily become interested in sex, but is not initially seeking it. Arousal comes first for everyone before desire. That means there are situations that lead to arousal before one reaches the threshold of recognizing they desire a sexual interaction. That’s normal. That’s ok.

All sex organs are normal, just different versions of the same parts […]. And unless we are feeling pain, our bodies are normal and our reactions are normal.

This book is great for women who have had trouble sexually because Nagoski takes a holistic approach to improving your sex life. She considers the entire human being and their stress, traumas, and self-confidence among many other things. While this book doesn’t cover vulvodynia specifically, the solution process is very complementary to one working with vulvodynia– one has to consider all the elements of their life, the relationships, social factors, sleep, food, thoughts, inhibitions, etc.

This is true with my “sex drive”, too. She better interpreted sex drive as having breaks and a gas pedal to determine whether one is sexually aroused. A sensitive break(s) means it can be easy to feel unaroused in a situation where one “should” be aroused- due to nerves, concerns about stds, pregnancy, or distraction. A sensitive gas pedal means it can be very easy to be sexually aroused. I have a sensitive gas pedal and a not so sensitive break. This might be less statistically usual, but it is still absolutely normal, just as all sex organs are (again, as long as they aren’t causing one pain, they are just fine!)

“How you feel about your sexuality is more important than you sexuality itself”


This book is great for personal reflection, and could lead to some important breakthroughs



Sophia Myers-Kelley (23) is currently obtaining her Master’s in Library and Information Science, working as office administrator at a non-profit called Women Against Military Madness. She is also actively working towards healing her vulvodynia and pelvic floor dysfunction. She has a sassy orange cat named Olly, who she loves to snuggle with. In her spare time, she loves dancing, yoga, cooking, reading, and most importantly, having heart-to-hearts with friends.

Review by Aga

“Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom” is an unquestionable bible about women’s health.

No matter what stage you are at in life, the knowledge shared in this book will allow you to finally live gratefully in your healthy female body. Yes, I know, it might sound absurd at first, as we women have been told since childhood that our female bodies are disgusting and broken. Producing stuff from unwanted hair, unpleasant odors, blood, mucus to breast cancer, PMS or endometriosis.

The leitmotif of this book is rooted in the mind-body connection approach. If you are not familiar or still skeptical about the idea that your mind and body are interconnected and continuously influence each other — then this book is an excellent source for you to start this journey.

No matter what stage you are at in life, the knowledge shared in this book will allow you to finally live gratefully in your healthy female body.

In part 1 of the book, you will explore eye-opening information about harmful gender-oriented stereotypes. This will help you to better understand the negative ways in which you think and care about your body. You will also discover the opposite — the incredible true healing power of your female body.

In part 2, you will get access to a comprehensive list of female health-related conditions — ranging from PMS, menstrual cramps, breast cysts, fibroids, cervical dysplasia, endometriosis, infertility, depression, cystitis and vulvodynia — along with multidisciplinary treatment options.

You also will be lead through many female life cycles including menstruation, pregnancy and birth, breastfeeding, postpartum, perimenopause, and menopause. You will learn how you can benefit from your innate power and wisdom in each stage.

Finally in part 3, you will get access to a detailed and comprehensive twelve step healing program. It will allow “you to tune into the inner guide of your body, mind and spirit” — so you can again fully flourish in your healthy female body.


An unquestionable bible about women’s health



Agnieszka Osuch (34) is currently living between Poland and Canada with her husband. After successfully recovering from 16 years of vulvodynia, her mission is to share her knowledge to help other people in their personal healing journeys. As a former web and graphic designer, she appreciates good design. She loves meditation, traveling, Muay Thai kickboxing, squash and alone time with a good book.

© 2018 Me + My V